[ Sickbay – USS Charon ]
Lamont lay quietly on his bed fighting through each torturous, ragged breath that passed between his lips. He had lost all concept of time. An unimaginable weight of pressure, guilt, and remorse pressed upon his body with a force and fury unlike anything he had ever experienced. He felt trapped within a sea of frozen, razor sharp ice like a ship's hull being squeezed from all directions. The pressure was unbearable and at any moment it felt as if the ice would penetrate his body and doom him to an icy grave. He couldn't bear the torture.
How could he have been so blind and so foolish? Why! Why hadn't he seen this? The knowledge that he had chosen not to see was so painfully clear now. He had followed a means blindly without question. So focused was he on climbing the ranks, rebuilding his family name, and acquiring political power and capital that he had never once stopped and looked back to see the effects his actions might have had on others. He had been too obsessed, too blind, and too ignorant. Now he was paying the price. He would forever have to live with the knowledge he contributed to murder, suffering, and unimaginable evils.
Their corrosive effect on his psyche was so powerful he had been unprepared to cope. Even now only the assistance of drugs was keeping him sane under the torturous pain his subconscious mind was enduring at his body's expense. He was unsure how much longer he could stand against the emotions which threatened to consume him.
Such thoughts were interrupted as he heard the approach of footsteps. Opening his eyes Lamont noticed the captain had at last arrived. She took a moment to converse with the medical staff before making her way toward him. A few moments later she stood at his side.
"Ambassador." Shiarrael looked at him. 'Disgusting.' She thought. "It turns out you are quite the pretender." Her eyes narrowed "one word and you fall to pieces? How ridiculous." She scoffed. She had spent the past few hours researching the company and although she now knew a great deal about NeoDyne she also knew very little about Lamont's connection to it "what has caused you to become so flustered?"
Lamont took a shaky breath. At last she was finally here.
"Captain, I must apologize for my behavior earlier. I am not myself", he said quietly his words practically trembling if such a thing were possible as they left his lips. "I..have made a grievous mistake so terrible in nature I find it difficult to even communicate. I will not mince words. Since the moment I have set foot aboard this ship you and I have not seen eye to eye. We have been at odds with one another. I have no idea how you view me, but I can only imagine you deem me an impossible man who is a constant thorn in your side."
Lamont paused for a moment. Finding the right words was exceedingly difficult as he fought himself in addition to the drugs within him.
"You may despise me. And you would have every right. I have not been a model officer nor a reliable advisor. I have simply been a fool. However even those offenses pale in comparison to my deeds before I set foot aboard the Charon. I dare not speak of them, yet for what I am about to ask of you, I suppose you are entitled to an explanation."
Lamont sucked in a deep breath. Revealing a hideous mistake to the one person aboard the ship he had been at consistent odds with was exceedingly difficult. His pride was making it nearly impossible, but he took some comfort in the fact that it shortly wouldn't matter.
"When I transferred to the diplomatic corps I was obsessed with only one goal captain. With an aristocratic family yourself captain, you of all people should understand. The Lamont name has stood for generations and my family can trace its history far backwards in time. Like your own family captain, our line has been one in the upper echelons of power and society. We have a long line of distinguished Lamont's who have done great things. My father, many years ago, ran for office on the Federation council. His rival, a nefarious and shrewd politician, however seized upon an opportunity to use our history against us. He found several records suggesting that a former Lamont was responsible for war crimes following the end of World War III on Earth. Since records from that period in history are few and of poor reliability we had little as a family in which to combat these false accusations. As a result, my father lost his campaign and much respect in the eyes of our peers. He spent vast sums of the family wealth attempting to clear our family name however he was unsuccessful. Emptying our family coffers, we were forced to sell most of our belongings, heirlooms, and even the family properly which we had owned for over ten generations. Before my father died I swore an oath to restore the family's name and honor.
I used my education, wits, and talent to climb the political ladder hoping that with enough political power I could take vengeance against those who had ruined the family and from there work to rebuild that which was unjustly destroyed. However I made a serious error. I gave no regards to the means I used to achieve my goal. In my haste to avenge my father and restore our name, I forgot who I was and have…" Lamont's words suddenly seized. He struggled to hold back a wave of emotion. His pride wouldn't allow him to shed tears in front of the Romulan no matter how powerful the pain and anguish.
"I have aided a terrible cause. I have contributed to untold horror and offenses. Perhaps I have even assisted in the Momento Mori that was used to erase the lives of so many back there on that unfortunate planet.
In my quest to curry political favor I used my political connections and influence as a rising diplomat to aid the NeoDyne Defense Corporation. I helped them obtain permits, side step red tape, and bend certain rules for the construction of something on the Astate Colony many years ago. I was too blinded at the time to think twice of the matter. I had no idea what agenda NeoDyne might be pursuing and selfishly I didn't care. The entire deal had overtones of being suspicious, but I was too deaf to hear the warnings. The Romulan Riov's words came as a shock. A bitter pill to swallow when one learns that he was responsible for aiding a terrible, perhaps genocidal cause that has costs hundreds if not thousands of lives."
Lamont's tone turned desperate. "Captain, I must appeal to your nature and as of you a favor you should be all too willing to grant. As you can see I've not only failed my family, but I have failed the oath to my father, and worst of all have failed myself. My mistake is too great a burden to continue to carry and my folly requires a harsh sentence.
I entreat you to return with your honor blade and put an end to my foolishness once and for all." Lamont looked up at the captain his green eyes carrying with them a somber, yet powerful resolve.
"What?" At first Shiarrael was surprised by the request but then surprise quickly gave way to amusement. It was silly. She took a step back and sat down on the biobed next to the Ambassador's "honor blade?" She shook her head at him and laughed "that is beyond ridiculous. Do you think you deserve such an honor?"
Ian could hardly believe Rehu's response. "Would you deny me that which I ask captain? Is this out of spite? Do you enjoy seeing me suffer? Do you wish for me to beg? Must I beg you for this?"
One of the nurses started to call a doctor over but Shiarrael grabbed the woman by the forearm and shook her head. The nurse looked between her and the ambassador before taking several steps back to watch from a distance. "You truly wish to die?" She asked, standing up and approaching the Ambassador's bed "how silly. You want to die for something so petty? By my honor blade? Can you, a pathetic human, even comprehend the meaning of mnhei'sahe? Why would a fool such as you deserve the right to die by MY honor blade? End this talk before you truly offend me with your vile words."
He couldn't believe her words. "Captain, surely you cannot be squeamish! How many have you executed? How many have you killed? How can you deny me, especially one who is so deserving? If this were a Romulan ship you would have killed me long ago I suspect. Why do you hesitate now? I am giving myself to you! Draw your weapon, end my life, and be rid of me once and for all! I have failed everyone and everything in my life! My mistakes have cost countless lives and contributed to untold suffering and I cannot go on with such knowledge! This isn't the raving of a mad man! I only expect the honor that would be afforded to any Romulan who had committed such crimes. Surely there have been many who have been put to the sword for offenses of a far less serious degree!"
He grabbed her uniform and pulled her toward him. "Grant me this one request! If you have any respect at all for me, you will do this! If not for my name, then do it for honor's sake! Do it for justice!"
[To be continued]
Captain Shiarrael t'Rehu
Commanding Officer
USS Charon
Ambassador Ian Lamont
Diplomatic Advisor
USS Charon
