Monday, January 24, 2011

[USS Charon] SD 241101.24 | Joint Brig Log | Ens. Dwellon, CNS & Cwm. Morganth, Yeoman

=/\= Brig =/\=
Vae was not happen as she strode into the brig yet again in a matter of a couple days. The guards did not even have to be told before they left the room, they would give her as long as she needed before they would return.

Once she was alone she walked over to his cell and looked through the field at him, a frown on her face as she looked at his hand. Not saying a word as she stood their, waiting for him to notice her there.

Andrus law there on the bed, his hand throbbing with pain.  Since the departure of Savant and Warren, he didn't say much.  Nor did he antagonize the guards.  He simply laid there.  Over the past few days, he had had several visitors.  All of them varying in rank and department.  He really hated it here, just another place where he didn't fit in or belong.

He looked over at Vae who stood there, his demeanor wasn't like it had been over the past few days.  "Ensign." he said in a monotonous voice.  It lacked emotion and his normal attitude.

She raised a brow before deactivating the field and stepping in, the field reactivating behind her. Moving over to the bed she sat down and pat the bed in front of her, taking the osteo-regenerator from her pocket as well as a dermal regenerator to work on the wounds. " What's wrong Andrus?" Her tone was gentle, worried over his new demeanor.

"Nothing to concern yourself over Ensign."  He voice remained the same, though he showed a flinch in his eyes and hand as she came near him with the osteo-regenerator.  He watched her do her work.  "Thank you for responding to my request, Ensign." He said, the words 'thank you' sounded out of place coming from his lips.  His lip had been haphazardly wiped of the blood from when he bit it, yet a portion of his lip and below that were stained a pinkish color from the blood.

Vae looked down at his hand and she gasped. " Oh my god... Your bones have already started to heal.... Damn it..." It was going to take her much longer to finish this time then the time before. She bit her lip as she worked, his tone with her was different, someone had gotten to him, and she was not sure if it was a good thing.

"I am the ships Counselor Crewman... It is my job to concern myself over what is wrong...." Her eyes looked up from her work for a moment, her eyes showing a flicker of her worry before they returned to fixing his hand.
"Ensign, that would be Savant's doing.  It injected me with a cocktail of drugs when I lost control and slammed my fist into the wall again.  I would claim to want to file a formal complaint against it, but I will probably not be on board much longer." He watched almost uninterested as she continued to repair the damage that not only he but Savant had caused.  "That is why Ensign, I stated 'nothing to concern yourself over'."
 " I think I would complain if I were you... She almost made those bones fuse to a near inoperable state..." She shook her head as she switched over to the dermal regenerator and started working on the soft tissues. Her eyes swimming up to rest on his face a moment again before returning to his hand again. " She should not have done that... She may have rank... But she is not medical officer..." There was a frown on her face as she finished up and just looked across at him. There was something about him that changed in the last day since she saw him. And she was not sure she liked what it was.... Silence meant retreat... And with him retreated back in this state... It was going to make her job a hell of a lot harder....
"No, it is best I remain unseen and unheard.  I will not file a complaint against it."  He flexed his hand, "Thank you." he offered still in the same tone.  His black eyes looked at her, there was no emotion in them.  His face devoid of all feeling.  "When Captain t'Rehu releases me, I will be bound to a stockade somewhere.  I will continue to remain dirt under peoples feet.  Solitude will be my only friend."  He stated very calmly, his voice showing no regret, no remorse.

" You are wrong...." She shook her head as she looked across at him still, " You would be surprised at what Captain t'Rehu has released people for... Believe me.. I have read about it... You will not end up in a stockade somewhere..." She paused and offered him a smile. " Besides... Even if you did..." She reached her hand up but withdrew it back to herself, knowing he did not like people touching him, " Solitude would not be your only friend..."
He saw her reach out to touch him and he pulled back, the only emotional sign he showed.  "Ensign, you don't want to be my friend.  Please trust me on this one," he said calmly so as to not upset her.  He had told her that once before.  "All we have in the end is solitude.  We are born alone, we live alone, we die alone.  Solitude."  He watched her.  He brought up his mental barriers to prevent her from knowing what he really felt, that life was no longer worth living.

" I believe I am the one who will determine who I want to be my friends... I do not care if it happens to be one sided either... To me... You are my friend... And it makes me happy to think that..." To be honest, he was the only one she's ever offered her friendship to. EVER. Maybe it was because they both had such horrible lives, born into the same shit, just on different days. Perhaps their stories were slightly different.... But still, they were similar in more ways then one. 

" You live in solitude because you make it that way Andrus... Because you are scared of letting anyone close for the fear of being hurt...." She got that from the last time they were in this cell together, it was not too hard to see. " I can tell you... I will never hurt you... " And she meant it, specially since she too had been hurt, it was not a promise that came lightly.
He took a deep breath in, and slowly let it out.  He slowly shook his head from left to right, what would have normally caused him to become stirred up had little affect on him, "For the safety of others, Ensign.  It is best for everyone that way.  You are an officer of Starfleet.  I am a nothing.  According to regulations you are not to fraternize with me.  You have a career, I have a dead end.  You have a life, I have nothing.  It is best that way.  We are all hurt in the end.  Whether by family, friends, coworkers, superior officers.  In the end they only have one thing in mind - hurt those that are beneath them, those like me, those who are dirt under the shoes they walk in." His voice continued to be devoid of emotion.  He hadn't moved since she had arrived save for the one time when she went to touch him.

She smiled at his statement about fraternizing and shook her head, " Again you are wrong Crewman. There are many Officers in Starfleet who have wed those enlisted personnel beneath them... They still have their careers... They still have their lives..." She paused and looked to her hands in her lap. " This is far from a marriage proposal... I am simply stating that should you ever wonder... You always have a friend in me... I could care less what you think of Officers and how they stomp on those around them... Take it from someone who had family try to murder them, supposed friends attempt to beat the life from them, coworkers shun them, superiors ignore them...."
There was a long silence as she raised the defenses in her mind a little more, " I am the last person on this ship who will treat someone beneath me as dirt... No one is dirt... Even if they feel they are... No one... Is dirt..."
He looked at her, "The decision is yours Ensign to make.  I cannot return the affection.  Though I am trying to save you from that pain.  For your future in Starfleet, it would probably be in your best interest to treat me as the others do.  That way you can be a part of the 'in' crowd, and not ostracized for wanting a friendship that will only result in heartache.  Please understand that."  He remained calm and monotonous. 

" That coming from the one who should know well enough that I want nothing to do with the 'in' crowd. I already said I care less if you return my affections." Lie, but he wouldn't know. " You know me enough to know that I stand alone, and I make my own decisions. And I know you to be the same... And yet here I sit in front of someone completely opposite. Devoid of passion, devoid of energy... Fire... And even devoid of that ego which I loathed... Still, it was part of you... It was who you are... And yet you sit here... Today... Completely different... Because you.... Of all people... Have joined said 'in' crowd... Brainwashed and stomped on by the very people you hate... And yet here you are... Taking it... " She shook her head. " You are stronger then that..."
"I am a nothing Ensign.  I have always been a nothing, I am currently a nothing, I will always be a nothing.  That energy, that passion, that fire, that ego was a mask.  It failed, so now I accept that.  I accept that I am nothing and that I am barely worthy to be the dirt that covers the bottom of your feet."  He answered still emotionless.

" I don't believe you... I just think you have more or less given up instead of accept it. You've given up on everything you previously believe in. Mask or no mask..." There was a long silence as she looked back to her hands, now entwined together. " You are worthy enough to be my friend... And because of that.. You will never be nothing in my eyes..."

She stood and looked back at him a moment. The look in his eyes devoid of all emotion, hurt her deeply. But, she would never really show that. If he took the moment to look beside him where she once sat, he would see a single Chameleon rose. She prayed it would not end up as peddles on the floor of his cell. 

The field was deactivated as she stepped through to the other side, the hum of the field reactivating behind her. There was nothing more she could say to him, he would just keep saying the same thing over and over. So, she left him with that, and left him in his thoughts. Perhaps another day she would try again. Aye, she would. Determination was her drive to get him out of his depressive state, for it was not the true Andrus, but an Andrus stomped into submission.
Andrus looked down at the rose right before Vae departed.  Internally he was now struggling.  Silently he slipped the rose inside his jacket.
Ensign Vae Dwellon
U.S.S. Charon
Crewman Andrus Morganth
Captains Yeoman
U.S.S. Charon