<<I have had the worst big of luck recently and pretty awful writers block. However a little bit of free writing turned into this log. I know some of you are probably looking for things to write about so I'm trying to provide some inspiration. I know DK might get this a bit since he lives in Arkansas. Anyways this is based on my grandmother's home cooking menu!>>
[USS Charon, Recreation Room]
When Shiarrael exited the lift she wasn't prepared for the scene she encountered. Dozens of officers lined the corridor outside the recreation room. Some were standing but many were seated against the corridor wall. In there hands were, well, plates or things that resembled plates but they were flimsy white things Shiarrael had never seen before. The utensils were equally suspect; white, glossy, and flexible. More so curious then angry, Shiarrael made her way down the corridor and into the recreation room. The same scene greeted her but in addition there were dozens of silver metallic- boxes. Steam rose from the cracks between their lids and stacks of the flimsy plates and flexible utensils were piled on one of the gaming tables.
"What is all this?" Shiarrael asked looking directly at the chief cook. Betty turned around and grinned at Shiarrael, her beautifully plump cheeks glossy from sweat and condensation.
"Oh, surprised Commodore?" Betty set down wooden spoon and walked over to Shiarrael "when that young man told me you were closing down the Eris Deck and moving the kitchen here I wasn't sure what to do. You know our entire serving staff is holograms? Of course you do- but that left us with a big problem. What to do? You know, I consider myself an expert in all things food and I remembered looking the edition of the monthly Universal Cooking Journal." Betty grinned and wrapped one of her arms around Shiarrael's shoulders "and I saw an article in there about old earth style buffets and how they used steam to heat the food. I thought it'd be nice to have an old earth theme while we're stuck serving food down here. You know what they call this?" She directed Shiarrael to the old metallic buffet stands.
"I'm afraid Terran traditions escape me." Shiarrael smirked looking at the collection of food "but why use such flimsy plates and utensils?"
"They call this a good ole southern heart attack buffet and its good thing you asked. Those were one of the greatest inventions on Earth! They're called paper plates and during the 20th century millions of humans couldn't have hosted decent barbecues without them!" Betty laughed "since many of the power systems are offline we needed utensils and without a dishwasher system we couldn't honestly haul the china and silverware here. We replicated these in bulk to serve the entire crew for at least two days. They should be easily reconstituted once all the systems are back."
"I see." Shiarrael was surprised but she couldn't complain. It was certainly an innovative theme and the crew seemed to be enjoying this new method of self-service. Noticing one of the dishes Shiarrael stopped "you added Klingon food to the menu?"
Betty shook her head "oh no honey! That's not Klingon food. It's a human food. That's what we call chitlins! Most of these are southern dishes- I was from Alabama you know." She pointed at one side of the buffet "here we have the vegetables. Collard greens, black eyed peas, roasted corn cobs, lima beans, mashed potatoes, cheese and broccoli casserole, some candied yams, and that bucket over there is filled with chicken gravy. Now on this side" she turned to the other buffet ""we have our meats. Roast beef, grilled chicken, baked turkey, and a baked ham."
Shiarrael swallowed hard wondering if some of this was edible. "I do not mean to pry about your choice in dishes Betty but" she poked at the Ham's skin "is that not fat?"
Betty laughed "real southern food is basically a coronary on a plate but this is all healthy. The raw ingredients were replicated before we left ED. Everything meets nutritional and caloric intake norms. I scanned everything to ensure this. Good southern food without the southern waistline." Betty posed with hands on waste to illustrate her words.
"I see. Well, what do you recommend Betty?" Shiarrael stared at all the food wondering if she truly wanted to sample this assortment. She was certain that if Klingons cooked their food it would appear much like this arrangement of hazardous looking cuisine. "I don't know where to start."
"Here, I'll serve you Commodore. After everything that has happened you should get served!" Betty grabbed one of the paper plates and a bag of utensils. "Let's see- here we go since you sounded interested I'll get you some chitlins, a corn cob, collard greens, some potatoes bathed in chicken gravy, a grilled chicken breast since I don't think you're a roast beef kinda person. We can finish it off with a good helping of casserole. Look good?" Betty handed the plate to Shiarrael.
When the plate landed in her hands they dropped about a quarter of an inch "heavy" Shiarrael commented staring at the strange collection of food. The smell was certainly awful but she managed a smile and made her way out of the recreation room. Elements, how do I even begin to sample this? Shiarrael stared at the plate halfway expecting some of the chitlins to squirm away. What this is, she wondered while wrapping the stringy food around her finger.
"Commodore." Shrishnar's voice interrupted her scientific study of the dish.
She shook the chitlins off and suckled on her finger tip to clean it. However, the instant she tasted chitlin residue on her finger she had to resist the urge to gag. Finally certain she wouldn't vomit onto her plate Shiarrael pressed her commbadge to respond "what is it Lieutenant?"
"Sir, another vessel has entered the star system."
Shiarrael felt a moment of panic wondering if her people had observed Calhoun's little trick "who are they Lieutenant?"
"One of ours sir, it's The USS Quantum Fury. They'll reach us in five minutes."
Heaving a sigh of relief Shiarrael made her way down the corridor and into the turbo lift "I'll be there shortly." But what will I do with this? She looked down at the plate of food in her hands as the doors closed.
[To be continues]
Commodore Shiarrael Rehu
Commanding Officer
USS Charon
