… BEGIN JOINT LOG …
Auden yawned. He was lying in his bed, his comforter cutting him off just where the lining of his boxers were showing. Both he and Mark had been chatting for the past little while, Auden was still reluctant to sleep but he felt soon enough he wouldn't have a choice. "Yeah. There was a sparring match between a marine officer and the commanding officer of this vessel…"
Mark was sitting on his bed, clad in shorts and a tank top, the later out of consideration for Auden, who Mark had decided must be modest. "Yeah, I heard about that, was it a good match?"
"I didn't watch it!" Auden glared at Mark. "Unnecessary violence if you ask me. This is the twenty-fifth century." He stopped mid-sentence and yawned again, he couldn't help but chuckle a little as well knowing he sounded like an old woman. "I guess it was their choice though.. I.." He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to fight off the sleep, "I.. should find out tomorrow.." He closed his eyes once more and within moments fell into a deep sleep.
Mark was going to apologize, seeing Auden's glare, but the man continued talking and then was asleep. He grinned, then went over and pulled the covers up. He dimmed the lights, then got in bed and started reading a PADD. An hour later, Mark was ready to turn in himself. He gave a glance at the sleeping man, allowing himself just a moment to admire, then went to sleep.
= / \ = 3 hours later....
"You are worthless and should consider yourself lucky I'm even with you!" It felt so real. Auden was looking up at Geordan who had just pushed him to the ground. "Stop it!" Auden could feel Geordan's foot in his chest. "You are never to talk back to me again! You hear me!" Auden started crying while laying there on the ground. He had once again fallen victim to the much bigger man whom he was supposed to be protected by. He was trapped, trapped in this nightmare.
Mark was startled awake, but lay perfectly still. His training coming through. It only took him a moment to realize it was Auden calling out. He quickly got out of bed then, and took the few steps needed to reach the other man. "Auden" he said firmly, hoping to wake the man without frightening him any more.
Auden was still trapped in a deep hell. "Geordan.. Stop!" He pleaded with his lover. Geordan took no mercy, his soul was all but lost in this moment, so much anger was directed to the helpless man that lay before him. Auden felt another blow to his abdomen and cried out in pain… Why was this lasting so much longer than the other beatings he endured? What had he done to deserve this?
Mark's gut clenched, he was uncharacteristically moved by the scene in front of him, feeling for Auden. He gentle placed his hand on Auden's forearm and called out "Auden!!!" louder then before.
It was as if there was light all around him. He could hear and feel Mark. Geordan's image slipped away into the darkness and Auden jumped up throwing himself into Mark's arms. His heart was beating uncontrollably, his body in a cold sweat and tears flowing from both ducts.
Mark could do nothing but wrap his arms around the crying man. He shifted to the bed, controlled his physical reaction, and starting rubbing Auden's back. "It's ok. You're safe now."
It was different this time. Auden had all but forgotten what it was to be held and feel safe and secure in the arms of another man. He had refused to sleep near his brother when they lived together during his treatment. He placed his head in the crevasse of Mark's neck and tried to calm himself down. "Don't let go.."
"I'm not going anywhere." Mark assured him, he continued to rub Auden's back in a calming manner. What the hell was haunting Auden, Mark wondered. He wasn't sure what else to do other then wait it out.
It took a few more minutes but Auden's tears ceased, his heart beat returned to normal and his cold sweat finished. He took a few more deep breaths and returned to reality. He was currently being held by a man he had only met a little over 24 hours before, they were both half naked and he had just had one of his worst night terrors in weeks.
He slowly broke the embrace with Mark and looked up; he was finding it hard to keep eye contact. "I'm sorry you had to go through that.."
Mark let him go, and moved over on the bed a bit. He didn't allow himself to think about how much he'd liked the embrace. "It's alright, don't worry about it. Are you ok now?"
Auden nodded. He thought he was alright? Had his counsellor's back on earth seen what he had just gone through, he certainly would not have been returning to active duty let alone being sent on a deep space assignment. "Yes. Thank you Mark…" Auden was still rather close to Mark, he placed his hand underneath Mark's. "Can we keep this between us please?... I know it was a little bit freaky but… I'm fine.. Okay?"
Mark gently squeezed his hand, unable to stop himself. "It doesn't leave this room. Do you want to talk about it?" Mark offered.
Auden felt comforted. This was obviously moving a bit too fast in his head however. He was a very private person; surely he couldn't tell Mark what was the cause of his night terrors? They had just met. He gave Mark a tug on his hand indicating he wanted the man to move closer. "I don't know if I can just yet…"
Mark moved closer with a small smile. "It's ok. I understand." He had after all just met the man.
Auden pushed himself back into his bed and slid over. He kept Mark's hand in his own. Maybe he was being selfish but he wanted the comfort of Mark, the security of being safe and knowing he was there. The desire to lay beside Auden struck Mark fiercly. He took a deep breath, and forced the desire down. He patted Auden's hand. He would sit with him as long as he was needed.
= / \ = A little over an hour later…
Auden felt himself waking up, had he fell back asleep? He quickly realized there was still someone holding his hand. He opened his eyes to see Mark still sitting nearby him, holding his hand. "Mark? You're still awake? And sitting by me?"
"Hey" Mark smiled at him, then let go of his hand. "I didn't want to wake you up, and thought it might help you sleep better if I stayed."
Auden's heart skipped a beat. Why did this man care enough for him to do such a thing? Auden was the one keeping him up and was the one who woke him up in the first place. "Tha.. Thank you Mark.." Auden moved over a bit more and then patted the spot beside him indicating to Mark he should lay down.
"You're welcome, but it's no big deal. I didn't mind." Mark watched Auden's movement, had to swallow, then shook his head. "I don't think that's such a good idea. I'm afraid I'd like that just a little too much." He explained.
Auden looked up at Mark and understood what he meant. The sexual tension was obvious. "I don't want to make you sit up awake all night. Now lay down." The cute doctor gave Mark a serious look, behind the serious look though was a genuine need.
Mark relented, against his better judgement. He laid down beside Auden, turning onto his side and wrapping an arm around the other man's waist "Is this ok?" He asked, trying to keep his tone neutral. He was indeed like ing this too much, though he controlled the physical aspect.
Auden sighed deeply. This is what he needed. Just to be held. "Yes." He took only moments to fall back asleep, encompassed by his guiding light..
= / \ = In the morning….
Mark awoke, still spooned to Auden. His body betraying his desire. He gently disengaged himself, and headed to the bathroom. Laid his head against the bulkhead and tried to contol himself. It did no good and with a muttered curse, Mark took care of the matter himself,cursing again as Auden's name escaped his lips at the moment of climax.
… END JOINT LOG …
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Auden Anderson, MD
Mark Dexter (pnpc apb Selin)