Friday, June 25, 2010

[USS Charon] SD241006.25 || Personal Log, "The Pied Piper of Andor", Lt. Jilani

Syed <> wrote to

(OOC: Okay...pretty random stuff. Hopefully a little funny though.)

"The Pied Piper of Andor"
by Lieutenant Waqas jilani

= Corridor =
= USS Charon =

"This is a bad idea."

Waqas Jilani simply shrugged at the comment. "True. It wasn't my bad
idea though."

Lieutenant Taal Thera, who was currently hounding her counselor as he
made his way to his office, made a disbelieving face at his back. "I
wasn't on the bridge. The way I heard it, you volunteered yourself
for the away mission."

"It only looked that way," Jilani snapped.

"This mission is too dangerous for you. You aren't a real man.
You're just a counselor."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Taal."

The Andorian wilted a little at his wry look and muttered. "You know
what I mean. I mean, have you ever even been in a fight?"

"Yes. I had a rather misspent youth."

"Have you ever won one?"

Jilani shrugged again. "No one wins in a fight. Violence…."

"Yeah. That is what I thought."

They walked in silence for a moment. The crewmembers they passed made
it a point to avoid them, the recent drama with Taal and her estranged
husband still buzzing in the ship's air. Normally, Waqas would have
been irritated on behalf of his patient for such behavior. Just now,
however, it suited him just fine. As they came to his office and the
door slid open, he turned to Thera. "Thank you, Lieutenant," Waqas
said firmly, "For your concern. However, the First Officer thinks a
space slug is a first contact situation and that means I belong on the
away team, no matter what my record in bar fights may be."

"I know," the Andorian replied, her antennae twisting nervously, "I
actually came to talk to you about something else."

"So the whole 'you are not a man' bit?"

"That was small talk."

The counselor sighed. "It is incredible to me that you have no
friends. Come on in." Taal followed him inside, but did not take a
seat as Jilani went up to his replicator and began entering
information into it, eschewing verbal commands for the conversation in
progress. "What can I do for you?"

"Actually, I was hoping that this time I could give you some advice."

Looking over his shoulder, Jilani made a dismissive sound at the back
of his throat.

"About your girlfriend…."

"Girlfriend? You know something I don't, Taal?"

"You know who I mean." Looking around, her antennae moved back and
forth, scanning the room and leaning forward to whisper the name,

"I doubt she is listening, Lieutenant." Waqas replied dryly as a
flute materialized in the replicator. "And if she is, I don't think
just whispering will work. She can probably overcome that
revolutionary security protocol."

"What is that?" The Andorian asked, gesturing towards the replicator.

"Human musical instrument. A gift to be delivered to the First
Officer." Jiliani paused. "You think a snakeskin bikini on top of
this would be too much?"

Taal shrugged, "Um…well, I don't know what is going on, but as a
general rule, I'd say snakeskin bikinis are probably always too much."

Jilani sighed. "Probably true. I like how you know what a bikini is
but can't recognize a flute. A true triumph for human culture that."
Waqas handed the flute to Taal as he walked by, "See that this gets
delivered to the First Officer, would you?"


The counselor shrugged and sat down on his couch. "You don't want to know."

"Figured. So…about Savant."

"I really don't take relationship advice from…well, actually, I don't
take relationship advice from anyone. However, if I were to do so, it
wouldn't be from my patients."

"Right. About Savant though. She seemed nice when you brought her to
our vow renewal." (Note: From joint backlog currently in progress.)

"She is nice."

"And pretty." The Andorian smiled, "And she looks good naked."

Jilani gave Taal a warning look. "I look good naked too."

"This is about the whole not a real man bit."


"Fine." The Andorian huffed. "You look goo…great naked."

Waqas nodded imperiously. "Go on."

"Kerak and I just think you should find someone…you know, real."

"Real? Savant exists and so she is as real as you or me. In fact,
she can exist in more than one place. So it could be argued she is
more real than us."

"I meant a real woman. She is a hologram."

"She is not a hologram. And she is a woman," Waqas raised a hand to
forestall any objections, "For she has chosen to be one. More
importantly, she is not my girlfriend. She is just someone I find…and
I can't believe I am going to use this word…fascinating."

"So you two are not dating."

Jilani shrugged, "I don't know."

"It doesn't bother you she doesn't have a body."

"She has a curious and unique mind. She is, in fact, unique. And,
like you said, she is attractive. I'm just…being myself in that

"And what does 'yourself' do in that such a situation."

Waqas pointed at the flute. "That." At the Andorian's
uncomprehending look, he added, "Charm. I charm. Anyway, I'd thank
you for your concern but it is not appreciated. My personal life is
not your business."

The Andorian gave him a withering look. "Just trying to help."

"You can help by delivering the flute."

Taal sighed. "I'm going to regret this whole flute business, aren't I?"

"You'll be fine. When Vulcans are pissed at you, that is the universe
telling you that you are living your life well. Dismissed,

= End Log =