Monday, May 31, 2010

[USS Charon] SD241005.31 || Joint BackLog "The Trouble with . more than Tribbles" || Lt Cmdr Sakarra Tyrax, Lt Waqas Jilani

[USS Charon, Transporter Room One]

Petty Officer Maria Bryzgalov gave the ship's newest counselor a comforting look and was rewarded by a swift, lopsided smile. The man seemed utterly unconcerned with the security team that had descended upon Transporter Room One upon his arrival. Even now several officers were going through Waqas Jilani's belongings, searching for the contraband that the sensors had picked up.  Jilani appeared so relaxed, however, that Maria could not help but conclude there had been some kind of mistake.

"I am really sorry about this, Lieutenant. I have already informed the bridge that you are being inconvenienced in this manner."

His dark eyes studied her casually, looking over her entire form. There was an easy laziness in the way he did so, like a sated panther watching potential prey. It was a little disconcerting but there was also….

"Not your fault. Actually, it is my fault."

She frowned at that. "Wait. You do have illegal substances with you?"

"Plenty. I'm frankly surprised it is taking these blokes so long to find the stuff."

One of the security officers standing nearby broke in. "What have you got, Sir?

"Lets see…some real cigars. A few bottles of really good Romulan Ale. A few…frowned upon hologram programs. The more adult versions of the Blazing Hearts of Qronos. The entire Vulcan Love Slave Uncut Collection…and the newest one….."

"The Great Tongue of Andor!" Maria broke in without thinking. She blushed furiously as everyone in the room turned to look at her. "I don't…I just know it isn't even out yet."

"I have friends in low places." Waqas told her with a wink. "I also a few books from Delta Vega that were banned a while back. Naussican Whiskey too. You never hear about it, but it is…divine, oddly enough. And I also have Kahless."


"My tribble. He sets off the biological filters. He had been thoroughly neutered though, so no worries. I also have…."

"I should inform you, Sir, that anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law," the security officer who had first spoken interrupted.

"It is always is," Jiliani replied with a shrug, "But this stuff is all medicinal."

Maria blinked. "Medicinal."

"Sure. Allowing crewmembers to break the law under controlled environments is essential to their mental health. Or so I say. And none of you is qualified to disagree with me."


"Maybe." The young Ensign who had just succeeded in pulling a bottle with dangerous looking blue liquid out of an open trunk but was no closer to locating the origin of a strange chirp looked up and pointed at the door that had just swished open to admit a raven-haired woman sporting a red collar. "But she is."


The 'she' in question was the perfect image of a mildly puzzled Vulcan, taking in the scenery with a minutely quirked brow on exquisite, clean cut features. Well, this was certainly … new. Several security officers diving head first into an assortment of luggage that would have sufficed for a Betazoid ambassador on an official goodwill tour, an obviously flustered Petty Officer and … ah. How interesting.


There is little that escapes ears which evolved on a desert planet where not knowing the difference between a Valit stirring in its sleep or a Le-Matya tensing to jump will mean the end of any chance to contribute to the gene pool. Most certainly ears like that will hone in on a tiny chirping sound with great precision, evident by the nonchalant but nonetheless swift motion with which Sakarra plucked a furry little creature out of its nest of … male undergarments.


"Your message implied urgency, Petty Officer." There was nothing but serene calm in the low, melodious voice but it still managed to convey the inherent difference between one tribble and an emergency.

Rather than answer, a young Ensign proceeded to hold a bottle of Romulan Ale under the Vulcan's aristocratic nose.

"Cigars." Another male, obviously engaged in listing numerous offenses on a PADD turned towards Sakarra and huffed. "Illegal alcoholic beverages. And …"

The reddening of ears was a distinct physical clue.

"I see."


There was only one individual among the new arrivals whose file would match … this.

"Lieutenant Jilani, yes?"

Petting the tribble which by now was purring enthusiastically enough to give even a Sehlat a run for its money, Sakarra tilted her head inquisitively at the dark eyed human standing at perfect ease in the middle of a most unique collection of belongings.


Jilani took a moment to respond, apparently distracted by her ears. Then with a slight frown, followed by a shrug, the newest crewmember of the Charon replied, "Waqas, if you will.  Commander…."

"Sakarra," Petty Officer Bryzgalov provided helpfully, "The First Officer."

It was clear that the counselor had not bothered reading up on the crew, or even the command staff. He did not bother pretending he had done so. Instead, he jerked his head at the security squad hovering behind him.

"You don't really have to come down here, Commander. A slight misunderstanding. These fellows don't seem to appreciate the tools of my trade very much. I can assure you, Commander, that all of this is absolutely vital to the mental well being of myself and, by extension, the crew. So if you could have all this packed up again, I'll just take Kahless and the lovely Maria here can show me to my quarters…."


Tools of his trade?

Well, if he was exclusively catering to the welfare of fighter pilots and marines, the Ale in the mildly discomfited Ensign's hands should indeed suffice. A brief look at the Rihannsu inscription confirmed the vintage was adequate, though certainly not up to par with the beverages aforementioned personnel were producing in their own distilleries. Distilleries which had magically reappeared after a decisive intervention by the marine commander two weeks ago.


As for the rest … a PADD with a list of … unconventional holodeck programs appeared under the Vulcan's nose and this time the elegantly slanted brow climbed a full centimeter.

Uncut Collection. A potential health hazard, though a closer look confirmed this was the … adjusted version catering to what offworlders would find… pleasant.



Politely ignoring the security officer whose blush had spread all across his face after the lithe young woman with a cheerfully purring tribble in her hand had shown such overt interest in the contents of his PADD, Sakarra let her gaze settle on the new counselor again.

"You are correct in that this matter does not concern the command department, Lieutenant."


A dark smirk on the gold-collared male's features conveyed clearly he would be pleased to handle the situation, perhaps even see to atomizing the offensive items in person. To his chagrin, the Vulcan paused in petting the little ball of fur for a moment and held up her hand.


"Legal concerns aside – and I am certain the Lieutenant Commander here will brief you on proper procedures at his convenience – mental health concerns should not conflict with physical health."

The purr increased by another one point two decibel and took on a distinctly encouraging timbre, prompting the Vulcan to resume stroking soft fur in a manner that with any other species could have been called near absent-minded.


"I am inclined to respect personal property, counselor, and not interfere. However,…"

Well ,she could hardly begrudge the man his ale and whiskey on a ship where the Captain and ambassador favored aromatic Rihannsu beverages, the bar was well stocked enough to leave not even fighter jocks wanting and Klingons could be seen rolling barrels of bloodwine through the corridors. Nor did the tribble seem inclined to reproduce and one should hope the human with the aesthetically pleasing features would have sense enough to keep 'Kahless' at sufficient distance from Kulg'Rek and his men to avoid … incidents.


"… I shall require you to consult with a medical officer before 'prescribing' any of this."

If there was a glimmer of amusement in the implacable gaze out of black eyes, it was come and gone in the space of a Vulcan heartbeat. 

The message was as subtle as clear – you are given a lengthy leash, but pull too hard and a ton of bricks will seem a small inconvenience compared to what will happen.


"Don't worry, Commander. Discretion, in all its forms, is of course part of my job. Now…."  He paused to rub his hands together in a comically exaggerated fashion, "Tell me, where are you keeping your crazies?"



[End Log]


Lieutenant Commander Sakarra Tyrax

Executive Officer

Lieutenant Waqas Jilani

Chief Counselor


USS Charon